RoyEd It Really was an Accident
by nightiff
Summary: Edward Elric seems to have a hard time staying out of trouble. And eventually, everyone needs some punishment, right?


Mmm trying to figure out the formatting thing and making it easier to read. Anywho, I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of it's characters, you know the drill.

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><p>Edward Elric let out a heavy sigh as he glared straight at the Colonel. What had he done this time? The Alchemists irritation was very iminant. Well, he supposed accidentally bardging into the Furhers office was a bad thing...<p>

By the cold, unwavering glare Roy Mustang was giving off, Ed was pretty sure this was the end of him.

"...so, Fullmetal, may I ask why you felt the need to inturrupt Bradley? You do realize as my subbordinate, this not only makes you look like a foolish kid, but makes me out to be a pitiful boss."

Ed just smirked, the obnoxious look forming as he said 'pitiful boss.'

"Hah! Finally everyone can come to their senses. If you can't keep one Alchemist in line, how ya planning on keeping the country that way?"

Roy's eyes narrowed further. He was obviously holding back a rude retort. Not seeming like he was doing a good job of it.

"Seriously, you sleep on the job and boss kids around, c'mon."

"I wouldn't have to boss kids if a certain shrimp would behave in the first place."

Finally, Ed rose, slamming the palms of his hands down on the desk. "Damnit! I'm not a shrimp! Lighten up! It was an accident!"

Then, the Colonel's expression changed. A smirk, but better than that hard glare...Ed never liked his eyes like that. Not that he liked this guy at all. Damn bastard...

Roy scoffed. "Ah, of course it was an accident. Only an idiot would mistake the Furhurs office for the Library."

"What? I am not an idiot!"

"Is that not the explaination you gave Bradley?"

Silence, if only for a moment. Ed growled lightly, crossing his arms and looking away from Roy.

"Oh? I've muzzled the dog?"

"Like hell you have!" Ed retorted, now glaring back at him. "You're so damn smug, always thinking you're so tough! You wouldn't last one minute against me!"

"Since when did this turn into a match?"

"Since I became your subordinate!"

Now it was Roy's turn in the silence.

The two's burning gazes kept locked on each others. As if waiting for the other to make a move. And in one swift motion, Roy had been up and pinned Edward to the floor. He  
>kept both the boys hands above his blonde haired head. The Colonel was smirking.<p>

"What in the hell do you think you're doing? Get the hell off of me, Bastard!"

His golden eyes were like fire now. He had never been so angered at Mustang than he was now.

"I lasted one second. Much more than that, because you haven't even fought back."

"How do you expect me to with my hands being handled by you?"

"Figure it out, Fullmetal."

"...you're a damned bastard, Colonel."

"I try."

With a smug grin on his face, Roy released him, turning and sitting back at the desk. "Now, I do have to give you some form of punishment. Bradley was in a rather important meeting when you waltzed in. Makes me wonder where Al was when you did that."

Edward had regained his composure, but absolutely refused to look at Roy.

"Then tell me what to do so I can get it done and move on."

"Hmmm..." Roy tapped a pen on the table, in thought.

Edward became more impaitent with each second. Less than that, even. His fists were clenched, face twisted in anger he was holding back. Being degraded like that...what did he take him for? Obviously he had just been caught off guard! If that was a fair match. Damn bastard only wanted to play dirty? "Damnit, hurry it up!" Ed growled.

A chuckle came from the Colonel. "Oh, don't I have the perfect task for you? See here, Fullmetal, I recently hired a maid for around my place. She decided to take the weekend off..."

Ed stiffened, not liking where his punishment was leading.

"...so why don't you be a replacement?"

"Hell if I will."

"Or I can just take away some privledges. Allowing you entrance to the Library...letting your brother tag along even if he's not fully in the military..."

"I'll clean your damn house."

"Good! Now..." Roy looked at him, sizing up the Alchemist. "Hm, I think you could wear her attire. She's not the tallest of women."  
>Ed's head slowly turned to face Roy, his eye twitching.<p>

"...what did you say, bastard?"

"You'll make a good maid, Fullmetal. Now please excuse me, I have a meeting." With a too-sweet smile, Roy had up and got to the door, leaving a stunned and angry Edward.  
>The Colonel glanced back, just out of the corner of his eye.<p>

"...have I pissed you off, Fullmetal?" Chuckling, he pushed open the door, vanishing from the blondes sight.

"Damn you, Colonel!" Edward yelled, stomping his foot on the ground. "Ill kill you! I'll mop with your blood, damnit! No ones gonna ever get me in some maid get up!" He  
>continued this rage, flailing around the office. Finally he stopped for a moment. He turned to exit the room, slamming the door closed.<p>

_Damn him, damn him, damn him!_ Ed thought, storming down the hall now.

There was simply no way in hell he'd ever wear something like that. Cleaning the stupid place was bad enough. But that? Out of all things?

Yes, Edward Elric was a thouroughly pissed off guy. And was not at all looking forward to Saturday.

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><p>Yay :U<p>

Well, if anyone reviews and stuff I may continue on. Because you know, who doesn't find Ed in a maid suit amusing?


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